A Mother's Heart

It was May 2008. The phone rang and it was Alan.  He was living in Charlotte and had only been there a few months. He had just started a new job teaching Spanish in a nice elementary school. We had just recently helped him move in to a great apartment. He asked me if I was sitting down.  Ok, that's never a good question.  Immediately my heart began to race.  And I sat down to hear the words I actually never thought I would hear.  I am being deployed. To Afghanistan. I have been called up and cross leveled.  What the heck does that mean?  I soon found out all the answers to the millions of questions going off like fireworks in my head.  My precious second born child and all time favorite (and only) son was going to war.  How can this be? How can I stop this? How can I change this? How can I keep this from happening? How can I keep him safe? Well, I also quickly found out that I was powerless to do anything about it. But pray.  I have been waiting for his return as long as I waited for his coming when I found out I was pregnant with him. Nine months. It will soon be over and he is coming home. Oh the joy to say those words. He will soon be home.  I know that my journey waiting is nothing like the journey he has been on living it.  But for a mother, it has been a journey of learning to surrender, to trust, to keep a strong and steady prayer for his safety constantly on my lips and in my mind and in my heart.  And the journey for me was made so much easier by none other than Alan himself.  His attitude, his outlook, his thoughtfulness, and his use of modern technology has kept me from much unproductive fear and worry. (Most of the time.)  Because we have been able to be in almost daily contact through the wonderful computer program called Skype, because Alan has kept everyone in the loop of his adventure through his BLOG, and because he sends mail often, the time he has been gone and in harm's way has been made a little more tolerable for this mom.  I could go on for pages about this young man who is one of God's many gifts to me and to this world and about how proud I am of him for reasons no words can describe.  My heart is so full of emotion and gratitude as the time gets closer that I will be able to see him, be in the same room with him and hold him and experience again the joy he brought to me after those first nine months of waiting 25 years ago.